What Ancient Romans Knew About Family Drama
If you’ve ever muttered “Why does this always happen to me?” or prayed for a little more calm when your mom starts momming — Stoicism might just be your new favorite life tool.
It’s not about being emotionless. It’s about being unshakeable.
Stoicism teaches you to control the one thing that actually changes your experience: your thoughts. Not your family. (Spoiler: they’re not changing.)
This isn’t monk-on-a-mountain stuff. This is real-life, real-mess, I-love-these-people-but-they-make-me-crazy kind of philosophy.
Give me the CALM courseLet’s Stop the Same Fight From Ruining Family Dinners
You've read the books. You’ve journaled your triggers. And yet... here you are again, reliving the same argument with your brother over potatoes and control issues.
It’s not your fault—it’s your untrained emotional reflexes.
That’s what we fix around here. No therapy-speak. No vague mantras. Just tools that work when your dad blurts something tone-deaf.
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CALM: The 4 Steps to Stop Family from Stealing Your Sanity
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The Stoic Survival Kit (for Real Life, Not Rome)
Control What’s Yours
You can’t control your family, believe me I've tried! But you can control your thoughts, feelings, and actions. That’s where your power is — and it’s life-changing.
Make Chaos Useful
Instead of getting stuck in frustration or self-pity, Stoicism helps you see challenges as opportunities to grow. It’s the philosophy of “bring it on” — but with less stress and more grace.
Embrace the Mess
Rather than wishing things were different, Stoicism teaches you to embrace what is. It’s not about giving up either. It's about thriving more than you ever thought possible.
I Don’t Just Teach This—I Live It
Stoicism isn’t just something I coach on. It’s how I survived family estrangement, caregiving chaos, and a teenager who once rolled her eyes so hard I thought they’d get stuck.
It’s how I learned to stay grounded when people I love act out, lash out, or flat-out disappoint.
I’m not perfect. I still lose it sometimes. But I’ve learned how to bounce back faster, stronger, and calmer.
And that’s what I teach.
My Secret Sauce
I combine Stoic wisdom, coaching tools, and real-life relationship patterns to help you:
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Spot the real issue underneath the argument
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Stop reacting and start responding—on purpose
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Set boundaries that don’t collapse under guilt
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Take action that feels clear
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Build emotional muscle, one messy moment at a time
This work isn’t about perfection—it’s about practice. Growth doesn’t always look pretty, but it can feel powerful.
Let’s CALM the chaosYour emotional reflexes weren’t built in a day.
They were shaped by decades of family dynamics, survival mode, and stories you didn’t know you were telling yourself.
The RESILIENT framework gives you a new structure—one rooted in Stoic wisdom, modern mindset tools, and real-life messiness.
The RESILIENT Framework
- Reflect: Spot the pattern. Own the story.
- Empower: Focus only on what's yours to control.
- Shift: Reframe the drama. Change the meaning.
- Integrate: Align with your values in the moment.
- Live: Take action that stretches your growth edge.
- Innovate: Change how your past lives in you.
- Embrace: Let go of needing things to be different.
- Nurture: Choose not to take it personally.
- Trust: You've got this. And I've got you.
This next-level framework helps you navigate family relationships with calm, courage, and just the right amount of Stoic sass to keep your sanity intact.
Why work with me?
Because I’ve had to make the hard calls. I’m my parents trustee. The decision-maker. The responsible one when others flaked or fought.
I know what it’s like to be blamed for doing what’s right, to carry the emotional fallout of grown adults who won’t manage their own stuff.
I’ve learned how to stay steady when others spin. How to lead with clarity—even when I don’t have consensus.
If that’s the role you’re in too, I’m not here to help you people-please your way out of conflict. I’m here to help you stay calm, clear, and confident through it.
Give me the CALM courseA Note From Me
You don’t need fixing.
You need tools that work in the moment, not just in your journal.
You don’t need another book or affirmation.
You need to know how to hold your boundaries when your dad starts his usual speech.
This is where we stop admiring emotional growth and start living it.
I’m here when you’re ready.
Live in possibility,
xoxo Lani